On my lengthy journey home from school for Thanksgiving this year, I spent most of that time lost in thought. Thoughts about the semester and how it’s quickly coming to an end, about friendships- old and new and how much each and every one means to me, and about the value of one year’s time.
As I was sifting through and organizing those thoughts, I noticed a common theme- one of introspection. The more I practice this art of introspection, the less it is that I find I need in my life to make me truly happy. It’s a lost art that I believe if we all practice more of, then the world would be a more compassionate place.
After spending many years struggling to accept that who I am is enough and that life is more than a number on a scale, I think I have finally reached a place of content- as in 100% fully content with my self, my life, and my journey. It’s taken me a long time to reach this place- heck, find it even because I had absolutely no idea where I was going when I started recovery- but a lot of my growth this year I owe to gratitude and introspection.
I started down this long road with nothing more than the intention to heal my body and restore my trust in myself, but what I found along the way has made this challenge so worth it.
When I learned to forgive myself for all that I did to my poor body, depriving it of what it needed to function and exercising it past its limits, gratitude was there to fill those voids I inevitably created when I let go of the past and that part of me.
When you live a life of gratitude rather than one of constant comparison, it’s truly amazing how much you gain.
With comparison, being was never enough. It was living a life fueled by “more, more, more.” It was constantly competing not only with others, but with myself.
However, gratitude is a feeling that makes you feel like simply being is enough. It makes you feel like what you have is enough and that there’s nothing more that you could possibly need.
A grateful soul gives your heart the capacity to love even more, it allows you to understand others better, and above all, it makes you feel like you are enough- because you are. Gratitude and compassion transpire above all things and it makes you a better person, a better friend, a better partner.
I no longer let a set of numbers define my life, but rather I measure my life in the memories I’ve made spending the most amazing time with my friends, the happiness that I’ve experienced once I let that part of my life go, and the strength and confidence that I’ve gained through all of this.
This year, I finally understand what it means to truly be grateful.
To all my wonderful friends, I wish each and every one of you the happiest Thanksgiving filled with love, laughter, and gratitude <333